Does anyone remember the Macho Madness? Long before The Rock there was a lunatic by the name of Randall Mario Poffo, aka Randy ‘The Macho Man’ Savage. Back in the glory days of the WWF, when wrestlers still chose cocaine before steroids, The Macho Man lit up an interview like no one before him, and no one since.
Well my good friend Jimmy Traina over at Sports Illustrated linked to this amazing Valentine’s themed article yesterday in his incredible Hot Click’s feature. It told a classic, cautionary Valentine’s tale like only the WWF possibly could. But that isn’t the point of this post.
The point is for you to watch one of the great works of Randy ‘The Macho Man’ Savage. Hit play below, and Dig It.
We were the fore fathers of online celebrity masturbation.
We stayed up to ungodly hours of the night, avoided our school work, drank too much pop, ate too many cookies, hid too much porn… but we made god damned sure that every single photo of a female celebrity ended up in digital form, somewhere, long before magazines had web sites.
We carefully cut photos out of print magazines. And we debated on the merits of various desktop scanners. We argued about technique. We Gaussian Blurred side-boob’s and we Unsharp Masked thighs.
We bought expensive video equipment, because we understood that owning a SVHS/Laserdisc/DVD player would be the only way that we could get a clear screen capture of Kari Wuhrer’s bush.
We spoke breathlessly, endlessly when we found out that one of our favorite celebrities may or may not be showing her tits in her new movie.
We understood the importance of a quality up-skirt.
We set up servers, we distributed files, and we ran our own system of government. We had an easy to follow set of rules, and a societal hierarchy. We wasted most of the hours of our formative years waiting until someone else typed something.
We knew what the internet could/would do long before most people.
We jerked off. Then we jerked off. Then we jerked off some more.
Melt_Down says what’s up.
Thought maybe it would be fun to take some footage of dogs viewing the overXXXposed website. And so I did, and it became an ad for the show. Viva la revolution, and shit.
More outtakes from the Clown and School Girl shoot that I did for overXXXposed 2:
I love messing around with my iPhone. Its such a capable device, which often reminds me that its not the imaging device that makes the photo, rather the creative mind of the person clicking the shutter. Here is a photo I took at the end of one of my shoots for overXXXposed 2, edited to serve as an advertisement for the show itself.
Richard Northwood Presents: The Erotic Fiction Diaries Yin and Yang
Yin and Yang
He walks up to the bar and when he leans against it his elbow hits her back. She turns to look at him and he is handsome and he smells good. His eyes are kind and his hands are weathered like a mans should be. His jawline is strong and his hair is perfectly cut. Her pupils dilate and her lips become engorged with blood.
As he walks to the bar he is bumped from behind and his arm hits some chick standing in his way. He looks at her and then looks past her and then looks at the bartender and orders his drink. He looks at her again and kind of thinks she is leering at him strangely and he wonders if he’s met her before or something but he doesn’t care enough to ask so he takes his drink from the bar and walks back over to where he was standing, just a few feet away.
She turns her body towards him and she hopes that he will notice her. She hears the men that he is talking with laugh hysterically and she thinks that he is charming and kind. He has an easy stance, like life has been good to him and he is certainly well dressed. She wonders if his lips are soft and as she stares at them he picks his nose because he thinks nobody is looking. She quickly adjusts her view to take all of him in once again and it is just in time to notice him picking at his crotch because he again thinks no one is looking. She watches him type a message into his phone and she hopes it is for her. She wonders what it would be like to have him inside of her, his body pressed against hers.
He is standing with some co-workers and he is telling them the story about the crazy drunk bitch that he fucked last night and they think the story is hilarious. He is having trouble standing because he hurt his ankle playing basketball and he feels a sudden itch in his nose and he picks it because it is dark and no one will notice. He picks at his crotch and jokes to his friends that he needs to wash more often and he’d swear that out of the corner of his eye he can see that weird chick staring at him again. He pulls out his cell phone and shows his buddies a picture of the crazy chick from last night. He wonders what it would be like to be inside of her again, his cock hammering her.
She catches him staring in her direction and she doesn’t think she has the courage to approach him and say something, so she hopes that he will come to her.
He looks over at the bar because that chick that he was talking to earlier is there, but he can barely see her as she is standing behind that weird chick that keeps staring at him.
She stands there waiting as he comes to her and he leans into her left side and she leans in closer.
He walks up to the bar and tries to get around the weird chick but she steps in front of him.
She looks up at him.
He asks her if he knows her.
She says well you do now and tells him that her name is Michelle. She is twenty two years old and she doesn’t get out very often but she’s really glad she came out tonight because it was really nice to meet him. She is planning on becoming an English teacher one day and her friends dragged her out tonight because they love being there so much. She tells him that she was really nervous to come out tonight because she just got her hair cut and she doesn’t think it looks good. She asks him if he thinks it looks good. He doesn’t answer because she doesn’t let him and she asks him if he likes this kind of music. He moves to the bar to get them a drink.
The weird chick that keeps staring at him says a whole bunch of stupid shit and he walks past her to get himself a drink.
She wonders if he’s a bad boy that is going to try to get her drunk and the thought makes her smile a devilish little grin.
He turns around with his beer and as soon as he does the weird chick says ‘cheers’ to him and slams her glass against his bottle. She does this hard enough to spill a little beer on his shirt and he goes ‘what the fuck?’ and quickly wipes it off a little with his hand. He looks at her and she says nothing, she is just staring at him with a ridiculous grin on her face that makes him feel bad because he thinks she might be mildly retarded.
She watches as he gets nervous and spills his beer on himself and she thinks its cute and she laughs a little. They say hello again and she looks into his eyes while he speaks the most perfect words she’s ever heard, and she knows that she belongs to him.
He sees her laugh and suddenly she doesn’t look too bad to him. He starts to talk to her because it is late and he probably won’t find that other chick before last call anyways. He tells her that if she wants another drink its on him because he knows everybody here and they will probably just put it on the house. He tells her that he has a new Nissan Maxima and that he is thinking about going back to law school but he doesn’t know if he will have time because he does a little acting on the side. He tells her that she looks really hot and that he has been checking her out all night. He asks her if she has a boyfriend but then quickly cuts in telling her not to answer because tonight he doesn’t care. He puts his hand on her ass and leans in and tells her that they should go back to his place to have some fun.
She quivers in anticipation when he gently puts his powerful hand on her lower back to support her while he whispers in her ear. She simply melts when he asks her if she’ll come to his place tonight and sit by the fire while he reads her the poetry that he often writes. He wants to write her a poem, and he promises to do so while they are in the taxi on the way to his place.
He makes out with her in the taxi all the way back to his place but he gets annoyed because every time he places her hand on his cock she pulls it away. He is hard and ready, but she is a complete tease and he feels stupid because he should have known that she was a flake.
She melts in his arms as he places upon her lips the softest kisses she never knew existed. She can barely keep her hands off him now and she struggles to resist.
He opens his door and throws his coat on the floor and makes himself comfortable on his couch. He lay there in frustration because he knows he isn’t getting any, and he is probably stuck with her for the night.
She lay with him now, his manly body slowing to a rest, their hearts beating as one, ready to drift into a slumber. She dreams of being there always, wondering what their children will look like.
He falls asleep and then eight minutes later he wakes himself up, snoring loudly. His arm is asleep because the flake has fallen asleep on top of him. He is certain that she is drooling.
Richard Forsythe Northwood
Here is a quick preview of what I’ve got in store for overXXXposed 2 ‘Get Your Heart On’ on Saturday Feb. 12th 2011