Several months back I was going through a morning routine I had gone through so many times before: checking photography equipment and packing it up to transfer to a location shoot. Realizing that I was missing my all important portable battery pack, I swung by my warehouse photo studio/office to check to see if that’s where I left it. Heading up the four flights of stairs I slowly began hearing noises I shouldn’t have been hearing. As I neared the entrance to my slice of warehouse heaven, it became clear to me that I wasn’t alone.
And that’s when I met psychs.
He had illegally accessed my warehouse space to play some sort of twisted role-playing game with his then girlfriend. You know how some couples like to play Doctor and Nurse? Well they were playing circus clown and gullible school girl. In an abandoned warehouse. It was a super sexy game and I knew immediately we were like minded. Yet I played the role of tough guy, and told them I’d call the police if they didn’t let me take pictures of them in action. This worked out favorably for me, as I went on to win several awards for those photos, but more importantly a friendship was formed.
Here we are, jointly celebrating both Fat Tuesday (aka Pancake Tuesday) and International Women’s day on the SAME DAY! What exciting times we live in, especially for me personally as these are two of my favorite holidays. Just this past holiday season I came up with the idea of combining my favorite holidays (this year was Boxmas, where I waited to celebrate Christmas until the 26th, and did so by robbing a Best Buy with my buddy Psychs) into one day, and since the Calendar has done it for me today, I hereby decree that from this date forward today be known as…
Pancake Nipple Tuesday!
Why you ask? Well what is the first thing we all think of when we think of women? Nipples. And what’s the second thing? Make me some pancakes, woman. Why not celebrate both of these urges at once? And even though the entries on Urban Dictionary can’t seem to agree on the definition of a pancake nipple, I think we all know what it is. If you aren’t sure, here’s an example:
So how can you help spread the word? Simply click the Facebook Like button at the bottom of this post, or tweet this post with the link at the top!
“Can you help me sir?” she said.
“Of course I can, but you have to help me first” was my retort.
“I’ll do anything” she said.
“Take your pants off.”
And she did. *click* *click* *click*
“Now can you help me sir?” she begged.
“I don’t even work here lady. Get lost.”
In the wake of the ongoing Charlie Sheen disaster, Richard Northwood was also interviewed by ABC’s Andrea Canning for a special edition of 20/20:
Being a leap year baby, I generally only celebrate my birthday once every four years. This not only keeps me youthful, it allows me to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to myself which has always been a main priority for me. So as many of you probably saw on Twitter last night, I planned a nice little party of one, at home alone with a bottle of Jack and a few Vicodin’s.
And then my door buzzer rang.
So there were seven of my closest friends encouraging me to snap the fuck out of it and party with them. They brought cake, balloons, champagne, party favors, edible body paint, binoculars, a police siren, cap guns, candy bra and panties and Mardi Gras beads.
Then they took their clothes off. I have such great and wonderful friends. Who knew a birthday party could involve so many outfit changes?
And get this, they said they’d only stay if I took pictures of the nonsense. I didn’t mind, since that’s what I do. So here’s what happened *click*
Such a sweet young thing, that Lilah. So I says to her I says “What’s a sweet young thing like you doing locked in the basement of a one hundred and fifty year old school just days before its torn to shreds by a construction crew?”
And before she could respond I said “You know what? It doesn’t matter, take your pants off.”
And she did.
April was a good woman. That statement being past-tense, it is quite likely that she still is a good woman. I met her while she was using the toilet at one of the industrial warehouse complexes I
break into use for my shoots. She was in a jam we’ve all been in. Her hand appeared under the stall and she politely asked the person next to her (unbeknown to her, it was me!) for some paper. I told her I could do one better *click*. How about I take *click* your picture?
When she finally finished screaming we really hit it off. And so I took more pictures. I look forward to shooting her again some day. Here’s a sample of our magic:
Tired of your wife?
Send her to me, with an envelope of money. I’ll take pictures of her, and then send them to you.
You’ll be having sex again. With her.
Click here to apply.