We were the fore fathers of online celebrity masturbation.

We stayed up to ungodly hours of the night, avoided our school work, drank too much pop, ate too many cookies, hid too much porn… but we made god damned sure that every single photo of a female celebrity ended up in digital form, somewhere, long before magazines had web sites.

We carefully cut photos out of print magazines. And we debated on the merits of various desktop scanners. We argued about technique. We Gaussian Blurred side-boob’s and we Unsharp Masked thighs.

We bought expensive video equipment, because we understood that owning a SVHS/Laserdisc/DVD player would be the only way that we could get a clear screen capture of Kari Wuhrer’s bush.

We spoke breathlessly, endlessly when we found out that one of our favorite celebrities may or may not be showing her tits in her new movie.

We understood the importance of a quality up-skirt.

We set up servers, we distributed files, and we ran our own system of government. We had an easy to follow set of rules, and a societal hierarchy. We wasted most of the hours of our formative years waiting until someone else typed something.

We knew what the internet could/would do long before most people.

We jerked off. Then we jerked off. Then we jerked off some more.

Melt_Down says what’s up.

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